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Thesis Statement For Smoking Ban

I am in the 9th grade and we have been assigned an argument essay for my English Honors class. For every fallacy my teacher finds she deducts 10 points. So as you can see I need some help finding these fallacies! If you could read over it and post any fallacies or any other tips or changes in the essay would be great! Thanks P.S I'm not entirely finished so any ideas would be greatly appreciated!

The argument I will be disputing is "should smoking be allowed in public places?" Smoking is one of the most deadly things a person can do to themselves and to others. Smoking is currently allowed in most public places and I believe this should be changed for a plethora of reasons. First, and most simply, smoking harms your body to a staggering degree. Second, smoking harms the innocent people around with the secondhand smoke from the cigarette. Secondhand smoke is the smoke given off by the cigarettes of others. Lastly, smoking is very harmful to the environment. Not only from the butts of the cigarettes, but from the chemicals and smoke being released into the atmosphere. A ban on public smoking would be both beneficial to smokers, and others around them, and also for the environment.

As stated before, smoking is harmful to others and a ban would cause non-smokers to not be exposed to the deadly chemicals in cigarettes. In doing so, this would reduce the amount of diseases non-smokers would have acquired. Here is an interesting quote from a few experts, "According to Barbeau, Osinubi, Sorensen, and Williams, for every seven smokers who die from smoking, at least one non-smoker dies from cigarette smoke." (Celestin, Paragraph 1) Surprising isn't it?

Smoking is not only harmful to people but to the environment as well. One of the biggest contributors to littering is cigarettes butts. "According to Keep America Beautiful, Inc. smokers litter about 4.5 trillion cigarette butts yearly." (Celestin, Paragraph 2) Because a ban would prohibit smoking in public, there would be less littering in and around public areas. Not to mention the amount of fires that would be reduced by carelessly thrown cigarette butts.

Non-smokers are constantly exposed to secondhand smoke and shouldn't have to be if they don't want to. Non-smokers do not have to not be exposed to cigarette smoke because they have a constitutional right to a healthy environment. Putting people at risk by being in a smoke-filled environment violates this right.

A ban on smoking in public would cause an overall decrease in smoking as a whole, thus, decreasing the number of unwanted disease among innocent people. It would also greatly decrease the amount of pollution to our environment. Smoking is an economic and social burden for just about everyone and should be stopped in all public places. A ban wouldn't harm anyone in anyway shape or form, only protect people and the environment around us.

Your assignment is to write an argumentative essay. 

  • You have chosen the topic which is an issue, a subject, or a situation. 
  • There has to be a problem or conflict located within the topic. 
  • The problem is the argument on which you will need to take a position.  
  • After completing some preliminary research, the next step in preparation for the actual writing of the essay is to formulate your thesis or claim statement.

What is the thesis  statement in an essay? A thesis statement clarifies the argument and your position. The thesis is the central and guiding idea of an essay.  It helps to create a unified essay. Specifically,  a thesis is the sentence that states the topic and gives your position about the topic. 

Typically, the thesis statement is positioned at the end of the introductory paragraph so that it will provide a forecast for what is to come in the essay.  

Thesis statements need to be adequately limited in scope but not so limited that they give you nothing to explore.  The best way to decide on your position is to word the argument in the form of a question.

This is the logical procedure for writing thesis:

Topic=Death penalty

Argument=Does the death penalty deter capital crimes? (This is not a thesis statement.)

The answer to this question will be the position or stance that you are taking on the subject. From this answer, you will be able to formulate your thesis. Include the topic and the position that you are taking on the topic in your thesis sentence.

Thesis-The death penalty does not deter criminals from committing capital crimes. 

This sentence becomes the controlling sentence for your essay. After more research, the next step would be to choose at least three sub points which would prove that your position is the right one.

Thesis with sub points=

The death penalty does not deter a criminal from committing capital crimes.  (1) Most homicides are not calculated; however,(2)  if the crime is premeditated, the criminal does not think that he will be caught. (3) The person may sit on death row for as long as 10 years before his execution. 

Here are the steps again:

  1. Choose a topic which has an inherent conflict or problem within it.
  2. Write the conflict/argument in the form of a question.
  3. Answer the question in a complete sentence including the topic and the position that you are taking.
  4. Do more research to select the sub points that you will prove in the body of your paper. 

The following is another example of writing the thesis statement:

Topic= Smoking

Argument=Should smoking be banned in all public places?

Thesis statement=Smoking must be banned in all public places.

The answer to this question will be the position that you are taking on the subject. From this answer, you will be able to formulate your thesis. Include the topic and the position that you are taking on the topic in your thesis sentence

Thesis statement with sub points=Smoking must be banned in all public places.  If a smoker is unable to smoke in public, he might be encouraged to quit, thus making it less likely to influence non-smokers to begin to smoke.  Furthermore, the passive smoker would be saved from second hand smoke. 

The thesis statement is the most important sentence(s) in the essay. The rest of the paper will support the thesis.